One recent afternoon my brother-in-law explained how he took his daughter to get her belly button pierced. He found every reason to justify doing it even though he said he was against it. He explained that she would have done it on her own anyway and he wanted to make sure she got it done by a professional so it wouldn't get infected. I responded by telling him that by taking her, he discredited his authority as her father. He wasn't justifying taking her, he was justifying giving in. It's been this way for years. His daughter lives with his ex-wife and she manipulates him by refusing to speak to him or come for visitation if she doesn't get her way. He encourages this behavior by giving in - every time. So it gets infected? It's a piercing, not a liver transplant. Topical antibiotics administered with an "I told you so" would prove a bit humbling for her.
Being a strong parent is hard. Satan finds our weak spot and works through it. Satan whispered in his ear, "it's okay, you don't want to let her down." I've watched her grow from a three year old to the defiant, rebellious sixteen year old she is now. She wasn't told no. When she wanted the grapes on a plate instead of a bowl at age four, Grandma gave in 30 seconds into the tantrum; then she was seven and wanted to sit in the front seat, despite car seat laws requiring her to be in a booster seat in the back seat, Grandma didn't want her to be upset in public. She learned that if she threw even the slightest fit, she could get her way because Daddy and Grandma didn't want her to be upset and her mother didn't really care anyway. It's so sad because the people who cared enough to want to mold her character weren't strong enough to stand up against the evil that propelled her to make unreasonable demands. I believe in tough love. Stand your ground and tell the child "No, because I said so." My niece has no respect for authority, because the authority figures in her life have been so easy to manipulate. She doesn't visit my house once she found out there are rules and I enforce them. Now she's having trouble in school and been caught violating curfew - our town has a mandated curfew for minors, unless they're accompanied by a parent. She will likely have problems getting and keeping a job, staying out of trouble with the law and fighting addiction all because she was never taught denial or self control. She's already sexually active and we worry that a child with no moral standards, will be soon raising her own child through the welfare system. Update: since I since I started writing this we found out she is now pregnant and the father is already out of the picture.
We have to stand strong as parents. It's easier to keep evil at bay with Jesus at your side. I worry about the youth in here in the United States. So many parents have abandoned raising their child to obey God, opting to try and win the coolest parent award. Instead of using discipline to mold and train our children, they use bribery. I'll buy you _____, if you'll _____. It follows the typical path laid out by Satan. It starts off looking innocent. You bribe the child with a toy to avoid a tantrum at the checkout. Before you know it, you can't get out of any store without buying them something. Since you purchase a $5-$10 item each time you go to the store, you have to top that at Christmas and their birthday. Each year you try to outdo the last and before you know it you've taught materialism to your child and worse, you've taught them to manipulate people. The sad thing is, they don't appreciate anything you've bought them because it was never about getting something they truly wanted, it was about getting their way.
I pray that each adult, who reads this, realizes that as adults we have a very important responsibility to raise our children to honor God. It takes a village to raise a child, when the village turns a blind eye to abomination the village is equally at fault as those who sinned according to the scriptures. When we allow others to sin or encourage others to sin, we are just as guilty as those who have sinned. It's as if we're accomplices in their sin.
James 1:22 Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.
James 1:27 Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
