Have you ever had a situation you didn't handle well? If you say no, you are probably lying. We often live life with regrets. Once the moment has passed, the event is part of your history. You can live with regret or learn from the situation and turn it around. As a parent, I can say I make more mistakes than I have in anything else I've ever done. My husband and I are responsible for molding four young lives into upstanding young adults - if they live that long. I love my children very much but they are a handful with lots of energy. For anyone. I once asked Justin's preschool teacher why she never asked me to volunteer even though I had offered on several occasions. She told me they felt I needed a break. That was a huge sigh of relief. I realized at that very moment it wasn't just me. I was reassured by an educator they were the most challenging personalities to raise as young children, but they would make up for it tenfold as they got older and learned to channel their energy for the greater good, I pray every day that she's right.
Yesterday afternoon my oldest son (11 next week) complained that he didn't have any clean pants to wear. I asked him to put all of his dirty clothes in the hamper and told him I would wash jeans that night. This morning I got up and started the laundry - in a rush because I had forgotten last night. I noticed he did not have a single pair of jeans in the hamper. I decided to teach him a lesson and do the laundry anyway. We've been telling them for months if their clothes aren't in the hamper, they won't get washed.
We often give in if we know they need something specific washed. Not this time. Proverbs 29:17 Correct your son, and he shall give you rest; yes, he shall give delight to your soul. I patted myself on the back as I headed back to bed. Pride surely goeth before a fall. I was about to fall.
My husband went into the boys' room to see what exactly Tyler had to wear only to discover the child pulling out a stash of clean clothes he had hidden instead of putting away on his last brownie points spree. I lost it. I was angry. His laziness often causes us more work or interruptions to our schedule because he didn't complete a simple task in a timely fashion. Laundry is one of the biggest struggles in our household. With four kids it's nearly impossible to keep up, especially with the youngest still potty training. As soon as one of my children was able to walk with a toy, they learned to put their dirty clothes in the hamper. This is a great age to start them, because it's ingrained into their little brains by the time they start school. A few reminders now and then are needed but for the most part, it's a successful training system.
Back to the earlier statements, I was angry and I lost it and yelled, "Are #%@ing kidding me?" My husband - usually the swearer in our home, reminded me, "Language." I lost my temper in front of my children and used a word I don't particularly care to hear. What kind of lesson did I set for them? It's okay to swear if you're really angry? Or if the person did something really wrong? I've ran the scenario through my head dozens of times today wishing I could take back my angry words. I finally realized it was futile and prayed about how to turn it into a positive and lesson of humility for the kids. Apologizing to them and explaining that I handled it wrong could help them learn to admit mistakes in the future. They can learn that even grown-ups make mistakes they have to apologize for. They can learn that it takes a bigger person to apologize for wrongdoings than excuse it away. I felt ashamed for using that language in front of my kids and I have to admit it wasn't the first time. I can only pray that it will be the last time.
As a Christian or person of faith (any faith) we are not perfect. You don't just wake up one day and decide you're going to dedicate your life to God and never commit another sin. Practicing our faith makes us better, stronger Christians. God loves us and wants us to be good. He wants us to think of others first and share our bounty, but He also knows we can't do it alone. If you've ever watched a young child make their bed for the first time, completely by himself, then you know what I'm talking about. It kills us not to help because we know it would look much better if we did, but pride won't let them ask because they think they are capable of something they cannot possibly do alone. They get better each time and over the years they finally get it right, meanwhile they continue to add to the list of things they need to learn. If they let you help them, they master the skills much more quickly than if they try to figure it out on their own. It's the same with God. We must ask for his help when we begin a new project or phase of our life. He will guide us along the path until He is certain we know our way. As we turn onto new paths, we need His assistance again until we gain a good foothold. He is always there to light the path, if it grows dark and he'll pick us up everytime we stumble.
You know what I would say, we are all only human.
ReplyDeleteI myself admit to dropping 'the bomb' at my boys.
And you know, I think you have it right, by admitting you made a mistake. By showing that you are not perfect (None of us are), you are doing a better service to your children, which will help them in all the lessons of life.